What to Do When Words Appear Twice in a Row

 

Using a word twice in a row isn’t always a no-no, but there’s always a more elegant way to revise a sentence in which you might initially be inclined to repeat a word immediately. When words collide, try these approaches:

1. “What you do do is your own business.”
Even if this sentence is intended as a counterpoint to a “what you don’t do” proposition, the emphatic first do is superfluous (“What you do is your own business”). If you must retain the repetition, introduce a separating phrase: “What you do decide to do is your own business.”

2. “They had had many arguments.”
Replace the second had with a prepositional phrase (“They had gotten into many arguments”) or a more specific verb (“They had endured many arguments”), or introduce more vivid imagery into a revision (“They had verbally sparred many times”).

3. “I showed her her message.”
Replace one pronoun -- preferably, both of the pronouns -- with a noun (“I showed my sister the woman’s message”). This isn’t a problem with him, because two forms of the pronoun would appear (“I showed him his message”), though, again, if him and his refer to different men, it might be better to specify, in place of one pronoun or the other, one of the men in question.

4. “He came in in disarray.”
Replace the prepositional phrase with a simple verb (“She entered in disarray”).

5. “She gives in in every case.”
Simply recast the final phrase (“She gives in every time”) or flip the phrase to the front (“In every case, she gives in”).

6. “What it is is a travesty.”
“What it is” is always an unnecessarily verbose way to start a sentence. Start with the subject (“It’s a travesty”).

7. “I placed the card I had written on on the desk.”
Recast the prepositional phrase “written on” with on at its head (“I placed the card on which I had written the note on the desk”). But first confirm that the modifying phrase involving written is necessary at all.

8. “We realize that that will not be satisfactory.”
Replace the second that with a noun (“We realize that the proposal will not be satisfactory”).

9. “We will discuss this this evening.”
Replace the first this with a pronoun (“We will discuss it this evening”) or a noun (“We will discuss the matter this evening”).

10. “Is there someone I can talk to to resolve the issue?”
Employ a participial phrase in place in the infinitive phrase “to resolve” (“Is there someone I can talk to about resolving the issue?”) or amplify the second to by replacing it with the phrase “in order to” (“Is there someone I can talk to in order to resolve the issue?”).

Occasionally, an immediate repetition of a word, separated from the first instance by punctuation, is appropriate for emphatic effect (“I have come here from far, far away”). At other times, even though punctuation separates the repetition, a recast would improve the sentence. For example, “Even though I was there, there didn’t seem to be anything for me to do” might be revised to “Even though I was there, I didn’t seem to be of any use” or “Despite my presence, there didn’t seem to be anything for me to do.”

From: Daily Writing Tips

Participles Fused and Otherwise

 

If you don't know what a fused participle is, read on.

The present participle is the form of the English verb that ends in -ing:

walk walked walking

To function as a verb, the present participle must be used with an auxiliary verb:

Jack is repairing the roof.

Used without an auxiliary verb, the participle retains some shadow of its verbal origin, but functions as other parts of speech.

participle functioning as adjective:

Mr. Jones is a loving husband.

participle introducing participial phrase:

Sitting by the window, I watched the parade. (The phrase is adjectival, describing "I")

participle functioning as a noun:

The -ing participle form can also be used as a noun. In that case it gets a new name and is called a gerund.

Gerunds

Gardening is my favorite hobby. (noun, subject of "is")
He likes shooting skeet. (noun, object of "likes")
He loves to talk about hunting. (noun, object of the preposition "about")
Do you mind my asking a question? (noun, object of "mind")

NOTE on Example 4: If I had written Do you mind me asking a question, many of my readers would be quick to scold me for having written a sentence containing a fused participle.

Fused participles
The term fused participle is credited to H.W. Fowler, who hated them. Here's the definition from the OED:

fused participle - a participle regarded as being joined grammatically with a preceding noun or pronoun, rather than as a gerund that requires the possessive, or as an ordinary participle qualifying the noun.

The fused participle resides in the same category as the split infinitive: some writers abhor it and will avoid it any cost, while others recognize that, sometimes, "defusing" a fused participle is worse than leaving it alone.

My practice is to use a possessive noun or pronoun before a gerund in a sentence like the one above. If the result is ugly or nonsensical, I figure out how to rewrite the sentence without using the -ing word. Speaking is another matter. In conversation I probably fuse participles all over the place.

From: Daily Writing Tips

A List of Magical Creatures

 A list of magical creatures for your next story...

A List of Magical Creatures, Fantasy Animals, and Supernatural Beings (bryndonovan.com)

Proper Use of The Colon

 

The colon is a versatile punctuation mark. Here are its three primary functions, followed by a few other uses:

Definition or Expansion

“But here’s the interesting thing: He hadn’t ever been there before.”

Note the capitalization of the first word after the colon. All usage guides agree that in a sentence like “I want you to tell me one thing: the truth,” the first word should be lowercase because it begins a phrase, not a complete sentence. But handbooks are divided over whether to capitalize complete sentences.

The Chicago Manual of Style advises doing so only when the defining or expanding passage following the colon consists of two or more sentences. Others disagree, and though I usually follow Chicago, I concur with them: It can be difficult in a passage to know when the definition or expansion ends, and the distinction between a single sentence and two or more seems trivial and inconsistent.

Setting up a Quotation

He makes this moral argument: “Taking whatever we need from the world to support our comfortable lives is not worthy of us as moral beings.”

Note that the colon concludes an independent clause that introduces a statement; it brings the reader to a temporary halt. Writers, ignoring the grammatical distinction between this construction and a simple attribution, widely but incorrectly use colons in place of commas, as in this erroneous usage: “He voted against it, declaring: ‘The only thing this bill will stimulate is the national debt.’” In this case, or after “He said” or “She asked” or a similar term, a simple comma suffices.

Introducing a List

When a phrase that introduces a numbered, unnumbered, or bullet list, or a run-in list, syntactically comes to a stop, use the colon as the bumper:

“The two central questions in ethical theories are as follows:
1. What is the good for which we strive or should strive, and what is the evil that we would like to or must avoid?
2. What is the proper or desired course of action, and what is the inappropriate or forbidden course of action?”

But when each item in the list is an incomplete sentence that continues an introductory phrase, omit it:

“For this experiment, you will need electrical wire (at least 3 feet), a pair of wire cutters, a battery, a flashlight bulb, and electrical tape.”

When, in the latter example, the list is formatted with the introductory phrase and each item on its own line, “For this experiment, you will need” remains bereft of a colon, and each item ends with a period.

(Notice that my explanatory introduction to each list type above is closed, with a colon.)

Colons are used in several other ways to clarify relationships between words and numbers: They set off a character’s name from a line of dialogue in a script; separate titles and subtitles of books, films, and other works; distinguish between chapter and verse in reference to books of the Bible and in similar usages; and separate numerals denoting hours, minutes, and other units of time.

In addition, they have specific functions in mathematics, logic, and computer programming, as well as informal roles in setting actions or sounds apart from words in email and online chats (much as parentheses are used in quotations and dialogue) and as a basic character in emoticons (arrangements of punctuation marks and other symbols to simulate a facial expression).

But it is when the colon is employed in one of the three primary purposes that errors are most likely to appear and communication is most likely to be compromised.

From: Daily Writing Tips

Why the editor didn’t make it through the first chapter

 

Here are some of the common reasons the editor didn’t make it through the first chapter:

1. Generic beginnings: Stories that opened with the date or the weather didn’t really inspire interest. According to Harmsworth, you are only allowed to start with the weather if you’re writing a book about meteorologists. Otherwise, pick something more creative.

2. Slow beginnings: Some manuscripts started with too much pedestrian detail (characters washing dishes, etc) or unnecessary background information.

3. Trying too hard: Sometimes it seemed like a writer was using big words or flowery prose in an attempt to sound more sophisticated. In several cases, the writer used big words incorrectly. Awkward or forced imagery was also a turnoff. At one point, the panelists raised their hands when a character’s eyes were described as “little lubricated balls moving back and forth.”

4. TMI (Too Much Information): Overly detailed description of bodily functions or medical examinations had the panelists begging for mercy.

5. Clichés: “The buildings were ramrod straight.” “The morning air was raw.” “Character X blossomed into Y.” “A young woman looks into the mirror and tells us what she sees.” Clichés are hard to avoid, but when you revise, go through and try to remove them.

6. Loss of Focus: Some manuscripts didn’t have a clear narrative and hopped disjointedly from one theme to the next.

7. Unrealistic internal narrative: Make sure a character’s internal narrative—what the character is thinking or feeling—matches up with reality.  For example, you wouldn’t want a long eloquent narration of what getting strangled feels like—the character would be too busy gasping for breath and passing out. Also, avoid having the character think about things just for the sake of letting the reader know about them.

 

What is Dative Case?

 

English makes use of four "cases" - Nominative, Genitive, Accusative, and Dative.

The term "case" applies to nouns and pronouns.

The case of a noun or pronoun is determined by what the word does in the sentence.

A noun or pronoun is in the "Nominative Case" when it is the subject of a sentence, or when it completes a being verb.

A noun or pronoun is in the "Genitive Case" when it shows possession.

A noun or pronoun is in the "Accusative Case" when it receives the action of a transitive verb, or when it serves as the object of a preposition. Another term for "Accusative" is 'Objective."

A noun or pronoun is in the Dative Case when it is used as an indirect object.

Ex. Oma gave me a puppy.

This sentence contains two objects, a direct object and an indirect object.

To find the direct object, find the verb and ask "what?"

Question: gave what?
Answer: gave puppy.

Puppy is the direct object. It receives the action of the verb.

To find the indirect object, find the verb and ask "to whom?" or "to what?" "for whom?" or "for what?"

Question gave to whom?
Answer: to me

Me is the indirect object.
Me is a pronoun in the dative case. It does not receive the action of the verb directly, but it does receive it indirectly.

Here are some more examples of sentences that contain nouns or pronouns in the dative case:

The king gave his son his crown.
Gwen sent her boyfriend a Valentine.
The mother made them Koolaid.
I read my children the Narnia books.
The Eagle Scout built the homeless man a shelter.

TIP: The indirect object always stands between the verb and its direct object. (I suppose it might be possible to find some exceptions in Milton.)

When a personal pronoun is used as an indirect object it will, of course, take the object form: I baked him a cake.

The teaching of formal grammar in the American English classroom has been in decline for many years now. An academic debate about "explicit" and "implicit" grammar instruction rages. As with most debates, each side has valid points to make.

A mind-numbing, isolated exercise approach is not desirable, but neither is throwing out all formal grammar instruction. Students need to be taught the terms--especially if they intend to study a foreign language.

Attributions - He said, She said

Attribution is the convention in composition of identifying a speaker or writer when you include direct quotes (which should be enclosed in quotation marks) or paraphrases. An entire system of usage -- a choreography, if you will -- has developed around how to arrange quotations and paraphrases and their attributions. Here are the dance steps:

“The basic setup is to reproduce a single sentence, followed by an attribution,” he began. “Then, if the quotation consists of more than one sentence, follow the attribution with the rest of it.” If the quotation extends for more than one paragraph, do not close the first paragraph with an end quotation mark; this omission signals to the reader that the same person is being quoted in the next paragraph.

In that next paragraph, rinse and repeat. Many publications, however, treat long quotations as extracts, specially formatted with narrower margins, sometimes in a different font or font size, and set off from the rest of the text. The tipping point for minimum word count for an extract varies, starting at about a hundred words.

Attributions can also precede a quotation: “The report concluded, ‘Meanwhile, the ecosystems it is intended to save are in peril.’” Or they can be inserted within one, in a natural breaking point: “‘For millions of people,’ she added, ‘reclaimed water has become as ordinary as storm sewers and summer droughts.’”

Beware of sentences that introduce the attribution before the end of the sentence when there is no internal punctuation. Sometimes it works: “‘The lesson,’ Smith says, ‘is that we should have paid more attention to what nature was telling us.’” Sometimes it doesn’t: “‘We knew,’ Jones says, ‘that Microsoft would eventually become a major competitor.’”

You’ll notice that some attributions in the samples above are in present tense, and some are in past tense. Which is correct? The answer is, either. It depends on the medium. News articles generally employ past tense because they’re reporting on an event that has already occurred or recording what someone said about an event, while features and profiles, crafted to make you feel like you are at the writer’s shoulder, often feature present tense.

Books referring to the past, appropriately, quote historical figures with past-tense attributions, but those with interviews of real, live people are likely to be written with attributions formed in the present tense. In all expository writing, let these parameters be your guides.

And what about fiction? Writing novels in the present tense is rare; it can be distracting -- or, worse, exhausting. It’s easier to get away with it in short stories.